he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
