She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
