So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
