I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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