Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Less talking, more tequila
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
