I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
