I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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