She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
