please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
