Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This is my gift to your gina
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
is it fun? or sober?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
