how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
