Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There's always time for handjobs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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