I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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