I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
