terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
