If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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