Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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