I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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