Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
