My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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