I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
