yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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