Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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