Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
