I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
