he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
