I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
