her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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