We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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