I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
