just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
