Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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