im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
