Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
