yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
