So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
