She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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