just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize