Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
