When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
