He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
