I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
