Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
