At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
