So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
