I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
