I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
