I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
