I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
