Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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