You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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